The Worry for Racists

Dear Racists,

I’m worried about you. Are you okay?

I know things can be confusing for you. One of your criteria is to bully minority races. When England was predominantly white British, a different skin colour made spotting the “other races” very easy for you. But confusion has set in for you now. Should you be racist against Polish people who are white but a different race? How do you know that a person is a different race from you if they’re just quietly walking by in the street minding their own business? If they speak, that could help you because they might have an accent, but can you tell a foreign accent from a regional accent? What if they don’t speak? Should a law be passed that white non-British must speak at all times? That will help you to identify them.

One of your favourite slogans is “Go back to your own country.” But there are people living here who go back many generations. I know it’s incredible to think that they can still look like their heritage and have lived here without losing their own skin tone, but it’s true. What probably frightens you more and you cannot really contemplate is that some people with darker skin than you may actually have been here longer than you. So when you’re shouting “Go back to your own country”, should you follow your own advice and also head back to which ever country your heritage originates from?

Then we get to mixed race. What a conundrum that is for you poor mixed-up racists. If a person is 50% black and 50% white, and you make the assumption that the black heritage is from another country, should you send half of the person “back” and keep the other half here? What if it’s not a mathematically easy 50/50 split? What if there is more bias towards the white heritage side or the black heritage side? What if the mix is from another heritage but not black? What if there is more than two heritages? What if the mix is two different black skinned races but neither originally from Britain but are about 10th generation? Oh dear, it get’s very complicated doesn’t it?

What will happen as more and more races are mixed? It will make it very hard for you to distinguish between the colours of people’s skin. Especially as a lot of you are addicted to sunbathing in the summer. If your skin goes darker than the mixed race person next to you, will your racist friends turn against you? Should you pick on yourselves? Is the colour of the skin the important factor here or the original race? If the colour of the skin doesn’t matter in summer, why does it matter in winter? Many of you like to holiday in Spain. When you’re out there, despite the illusion that it’s filled with white British, the white British are actually the minority. So, referring to the earlier rule of minority, do you then start picking on yourselves and leave the Spanish alone? Do you all chant “Go back to your own country” at yourselves?

The thing is, I don’t think you racists are very good at maths. You worry that “your” country will become too full, because although you can do basic level addition, it would appear you cannot subtract and so all the “white British” (who may or may not be white or British) who emigrate away from this country are not accounted for in your sums.

I’m sure you were very excited when Brexit happened, but now who is driving the lorries? We need more doctors, nurses and care staff. But they’re back in “their own countries”. Should we invite them to return or continue with dangerous shortages? It’s a big question isn’t it – let decent people work in the UK and have everything running smoothly, or claim we don’t want them and keep stumbling on through shortages? Hmmm…