What if I’m deluded?
How do I know whether I’m a sane person with great talent or a complete basket case and hopelessly deluded? I used to laugh at those poor people on X-factor in the early days who thought they were the best singers ever and then they’d do the strangest, weirdest, sometimes scary things. After a few years I stopped laughing because I suddenly realised they were being exploited and I wondered what happened to them after the world had laughed in their face. Were they deluded enough to carry-on in their happy place or did reality crash down on them?
I’ve written a book. It may well be a book of utter, entire shizen! But I love it! So, am I gifted or deluded? How will I ever know?
I’ll let you into a little secret – sometimes I used to wonder if the world was real and my life was real or if I was just the object of an elaborate hoax and everyone around me were actors. Then I watched a film called “The Truman Show”. At first I thought, that’s great, this means my life is real, because someone else, a film writer no less, has had a similar thought to me. It must be normal to feel this way. I’m fine and everything is real. Then I thought – NO! What if everyone watching my reality show is absolutely killing themselves laughing that the writers have dropped me the biggest hint ever that I’m just an unwitting star of a show and I STILL haven’t worked it out!
Still, I can’t complain: they haven’t killed me off yet, they gave me a hot husband and hopefully my contract won’t run out for another 50 years. Here’s hoping they write a fantastic book deal into the plot …