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How Homework is Ruining your Child’s Education.

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Homework sucks!  Right?  Well, perhaps it sucks far more than we realise.  What if I told you it was ruining your child’s education?  Here’s how:

The students who are most able to learn are those who have good mental health.  A child who feels safe, happy and loved, is more receptive to learning.  So far I haven’t told you anything you didn’t know.

To nurture a child and help mould them into a healthy well-balanced person, parents need to spend time with them: listening to them, talking to them, helping them to deal with their emotions, talking through their fears, planning how to deal with situations, praising them for good attitudes.  Parents need to spend quality time with their children, playing board games, reading together, caring for a pet together, curling up in front of a good film.  A child who feels as though their parents have time for them and care for them will grow up with a much better attitude than those who feel ignored or marginalised.  Still you already know this.

Picture this:

Day One – Today I will have quality time with my child.  I’m going to be the best parent ever.

You’re driving home from work, you think, we’ll have a quick tea tonight so that we can spend some quality time with our child.  You get in from work and your child has already been home half an hour but hasn’t started their homework.  They claim they didn’t get straight on with their homework because they were tired after a day at school and just wanted a snack and to chill out in front of the TV.  You’re livid.  That’s half an hour wasted that they could have got on with their homework.  That’s half an hour less time available for your planned quality time.  Stop!  Wait a minute – your child was right!  Of course they are tired and hungry when they get in from school.  Aren’t you frequently tired after a full day’s work?  And they were learning new things ALL DAY LONG!  Just the thought of it is making me tired.  And they’re only kids!  So they deserved their chill out time.

Now it’s time to do their homework.  They need to spend 40 minutes on their English project but dinner is ready in 30 minutes so they just rush it to finish it.

They have their tea and now they’re feeling sleepy, but they still have their maths homework to do.  They don’t want to do it.  They want to watch TV.  You are a law abiding, rule abiding parent trying to do the right thing so you tell your child off for being lazy and insist they do their maths homework.  An argument ensues and you’re particularly fuming because you wanted to spend quality time with them but they’re taking it up with homework.  Stop!  Wait a minute – you TOLD them to do their homework.  They worked all day then you made them work all evening.  The school loves you for being so supportive.  But who’s supporting your child?

Finally, homework is finished.  They’re still in their uniform.  No point getting changed now, it will be bed time soon anyway.  “Let’s have a game of cards” you say.  “I just want to watch TV” they reply.  You’re really hurt.  You wanted to spend quality time with them and all they want to do is watch rubbish on TV.  Stop!  Wait a minute – they have no brain energy left to spend on a tactical card game.  They have no energy left to do anything except flop in front of the TV and watch The Simpsons.

Next morning, your child doesn’t want to get out of bed.  They’re dreading school.  This is because they know they didn’t complete their English homework to their best standard and the teacher will say something. They know they were too tired to do their best in maths and the teacher will say something.  Worse, they had a history homework that they didn’t tell you about and so now they know they will have an after-school detention.  They arrive at school tired, grumpy and fed up.  They are not mentally prepared to learn and have a hard time taking in new information.

Day Two – Today I WILL have quality time with my child.  I’m going to be the best parent ever.

You get home from work and your child is still at school – in detention.  When they eventually get home you are furious that they didn’t do their history homework.  They’d lied when they’d said they only had English and Maths.  Now they’ve already used up one hour when you wanted to have quality time with them. You tell them off and order them to get straight on with today’s homework.  No they can’t have a break – they lost that chance by being in detention.  Stop!  Wait a minute – did they actually have time to do that homework last night anyway?

Homework is interrupted by tea.  If they hadn’t been in detention they would have finished their homework before tea – it’s their own fault.  They finish tea and you force them back to their homework.  They argue again but you point out what happened when they didn’t do their homework last night.  They only end up having to do it in the end anyway in detention if they don’t do it at home.  Stop!  Wait a minute – They’ve been working all day long, they didn’t get a break when they got home, they worked up to tea and now they’re working after tea.  Are these work hours even legal?

They finish their homework, but it wasn’t their best effort they were angry.  And tired.  They refuse to play a board game with you and stomp upstairs to play on their X-box and complain to their friends what awful parents they have.  Their friends listen to them and sympathise.

Next morning your child doesn’t want to get out of bed.  They’re dreading school.  This is because they know they were too tired and angry to do a good job of their homework and their teacher will say something.  Also today is their least favourite day with their least favourite subject and least favourite teacher. They arrive at school tired, grumpy and fed up.  They are not mentally prepared to learn and have a hard time taking in new information.

Day Three – Today I WILL have quality time with my child.  I’m going to be the best parent ever.

You arrive home from work and your child is already home.  Great this is better than yesterday.  But they haven’t done their homework.  They’re stuffing food into their face, staring at the TV.  “Why aren’t you doing your homework?” you snap.  How many times do you have to tell them they must do their homework as soon as they get in from school otherwise they end up doing it too late at night and going to bed late.  They argue with you and stomp about a bit but eventually start their homework.  You stomp into the kitchen to make the tea angry that your child has been lazy yet again.  Stop!  Wait a minute – haven’t we already been here?  Haven’t we already noted that the child is not lazy – just overworked!  And which subject has given homework today?  Only the subject that they hate the most.  What motivation do they have to complete it – the threat of detention.  What do they get if they complete their homework?  Nothing.  Just not a detention.  You give them their tea and then ask to see their homework.  You’re suspicious because you know they hate this one.  Just as you suspected, they haven’t done their homework, they’ve been messaging their friend about how awful the teacher is, how awful the subject is and how awful parents are.  You shout at them, remove all electronic gadgets and force them to do their homework.  They don’t finish until after bed time.

Next morning your child doesn’t want to get out of bed …

Okay, so I’ve made my point that your child is too tired (and probably disinterested) for homework, they’re not doing it to a high standard and I’ve made my point that it is impacting negatively on their learning the next day.  I hope you have also picked up on how miserable your child is and how miserable the parent is.

Now how about the teachers?

They are instructed to give homework out on a weekly (or fortnightly depending on the school) basis.  Here are the reasons they hate setting homework:

  • Setting homework eats into the time they would rather spend creating exciting and informative lessons.
  • They don’t have time to create a whizz-bang exciting homework, because they are already over-stretched with all the lesson planning and marking.
  • They know the homework they set is not going to aid learning, but they will be in trouble if they don’t set something so they just grabbed anything.
  • The homework is always a poor standard – you can tell the children have rushed it and not taken care over it.
  • They’re going to have to find time to mark the homework.
  • They are going to have to start the lesson on a negative because some of the children will not have done their homework. It’s not easy to get students enthused in your subject when you’ve started with a telling-off.
  • They are going to have to spend an hour in detention with the students who didn’t complete their homework, taking yet more time away from planning amazing lessons.
  • Some of the children don’t have a book to do their classwork in because they “left their homework at home”. The teacher immediately stresses about “what if OFSTED sees their book”.

Now picture this alternative:

Day One – Today I will have quality time with my child.  I’m going to be the best parent ever.

You’re driving home from work, you think, we’ll have a quick tea tonight so that we can spend some quality time with our child.  You get in from work and your child has already been home half an hour.  They’ve got changed, made themselves a snack and been watching TV for half an hour.  They feel content and relaxed because they’ve had chance to wind down from a hard day at school.  You ask how school has been and they tell you about the funny thing that happened during break.  You both have a laugh and your child follows you into the kitchen when you begin to make tea.  During this time, they tell you that they have had trouble with another child at school.  You discuss the problem and the best way to deal with it, and your child is relieved that you listened and helped.  You sit down together and eat a meal.  After tea, your child’s friend calls and they play out for an hour.  When your child gets back you play a board game and they tell you they’re no longer worried about the  child who had caused trouble because they have arranged to walk to school with their friend and hang out with them all day.  You watch a comedy program together and then your child gets ready for bed.

Next day your child gets out of bed, meets their friend and goes to school.  They are fresh alert and ready to learn.  The teacher greets them with a smile and teaches a whizz-bang lesson.

Now … which scenario do you think sets them up for a happy, successful life and enables them to learn at their personal best?

So what’s the solution?

Surprisingly, I’m not asking for an all-out ban on homework. Judicious homework now and then can reap huge rewards. If a teacher tells a class who doesn’t normally have homework, that they have an assessment coming up and here’s some revision guides, I strongly suspect they will take it far more seriously than if it was just yet another homework among many. Preparing for a new topic might have an interesting bit of research. Another homework that I agree with is for students to finish what they didn’t complete in class. If they’ve wasted class time messing around then they can finish it in their own time. This gives the students incentive to behave in class. Behave – no homework. Mess around – homework! There are homeworks that make sense, but the minute you start dishing out drivel, week in, week out – that’s when you turn students off homework and off independent study.

There are those who argue that homework is keeping some naughty children off the streets. I disagree entirely. The “naughty” children aren’t doing their homework anyway. They’re still on the streets, but the conscientious children are missing out on fun, locked away in the misguided notion that they’re doing the right thing.

I also think there’s a place for voluntary homework. For those students who enjoy school work, especially academic work, why not have a bank of homeworks they can either access on-line or from the teacher’s desk at school? They can earn achievement points for any they complete. Give the control to the child: if they want to do extra homework – go for it. If they want to play out – let them. After all, they are all little individuals with their own likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, ambitions and worries. It doesn’t matter what their skills are; academic, social skills, football, cooking, being around animals. They need to carve their own way in the world, and to be able to find out who they are and where they fit in. They need to have evenings and weekends free to discover themselves and enjoy their lives. They’re only young once. Let our kids be kids!

 

Deluded?

What if I’m deluded?

How do I know whether I’m a sane person with great talent or a complete basket case and hopelessly deluded? I used to laugh at those poor people on X-factor in the early days who thought they were the best singers ever and then they’d do the strangest, weirdest, sometimes scary things. After a few years I stopped laughing because I suddenly realised they were being exploited and I wondered what happened to them after the world had laughed in their face. Were they deluded enough to carry-on in their happy place or did reality crash down on them?

I’ve written a book. It may well be a book of utter, entire shizen! But I love it! So, am I gifted or deluded? How will I ever know?

I’ll let you into a little secret – sometimes I used to wonder if the world was real and my life was real or if I was just the object of an elaborate hoax and everyone around me were actors. Then I watched a film called “The Truman Show”. At first I thought, that’s great, this means my life is real, because someone else, a film writer no less, has had a similar thought to me. It must be normal to feel this way. I’m fine and everything is real. Then I thought – NO! What if everyone watching my reality show is absolutely killing themselves laughing that the writers have dropped me the biggest hint ever that I’m just an unwitting star of a show and I STILL haven’t worked it out!

Still, I can’t complain: they haven’t killed me off yet, they gave me a hot husband and hopefully my contract won’t run out for another 50 years. Here’s hoping they write a fantastic book deal into the plot …

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Twitter – where the grown-ups hang out!

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Shh! I’m not really a grown-up!

If Facebook is a gossip magazine, Instagram is an art gallery and Twitter is a business and political convention for grown-ups only. That’s how I see them anyway! This causes me a problem: you see I’m not really a grown-up. Yes, I have been alive for 48 years, but I haven’t actually grown up. Sometimes I’ll be walking along the street and I’ll see my son’s friends with their parents and I’ll think – ooh look, grown-ups. I have never, ever, looked in the mirror and thought – ooh, I’m a grown up. I have the same wrinkles around my eyes and silver streaks in my hair as grown-ups. My middle is spreading which I believe is another sign and has nothing to do with chocolate! But I’m just not a grown-up. I don’t think like one and I don’t act like one. When my son said he was going to have a few beers at his friend’s house to celebrate the end of exams, I launched into an attempt at a grown-up speech warning him of the dangers of excess alcohol and he cut me off saying, “don’t worry mum – I’m not like you!”

I’ve been on Facebook for some time now. I understand how it works, and I enjoy it. But … I’m trying to get my novel published and the advice is to get yourself out there on as many social media platforms as possible. Bear in mind my target market is Middle-Grade and the Middle-Grade students at school informed me that Facebook is “only for old people in their 30s and 40s”!!! So off I trotted to the virtual world of Twitter disguised as a grown-up and started following authors, publishers and literary agents. Very mature. I also followed a few immature comedians but I think some grown-ups do that too and I’m sure nobody will notice anyway! And then I had to tweet something! What could I tweet? My mind went blank which is weird because I don’t normally get writers’ block when I’m writing my stories. I can sit down and let the thoughts pour out of my head, down through my fingers and onto the keyboard. But that’s just it. My stories are for Middle-Graders – not for grown-ups. After a few poor attempts which disappeared into the ether unseen and unheeded by the world’s millions, I decided to retweet important sounding messages from grown-ups and respond on other people’s tweets. It’s working really well. Real authors are replying to me as though I am one of them and all grown-up and stuff!

So guys and gals! I’m just putting it out there – if you tweet me I will definitely respond because I am ridiculously excited about this new persona I have created. Just please don’t “out” me. Rachel Coverdale is a very grown-up girl! 😊

An Open Letter to Toyah Wilcox

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Dear Toyah,

The 80s shaped me. I became a rebel without a cause and my poor parents didn’t know what to do with me! I sang your songs at them, dyed my hair a myriad of colours mixed and matched the most outlandish clothes, cast off any preconceptions about who I was and who I should be and had the time of my life. I should blame you for me dropping my A levels before I’d barely started them and for drinking, smoking, riding motorbikes and generally behaving like a punk. I do blame you. I thank you! You see I had to get it wrong before I could get it right. I had to find out who I was before I could be comfortable with myself.

Now you’re in trouble with me again. You are touring and misbehaving – not toeing the line. You are perfectly capable of selling out large arenas, yet you insist on playing some absolute dives enabling people like me to go your gigs. You are putting enjoyment before money! Your fans before your wealth! You really don’t fit in well to the “rich and famous” brigade do you! Screaming along to a gig at Middlesbrough rekindled the rebel in me.

Then, to completely tip me over the edge, I attended the Film Premiere of “The Unfortunate Woman” at The Forum in Darlington, and there you were, giving the most inspirational talk to the audience about the next PIMM film and the part you are playing in it. You stood on the stage and reminisced about banging on a film producer’s door, demanding that he give you the part you’d auditioned for in “Quadrophenia” and I thought YES! Never mind me sitting back all lady like and demure, hoping that someone will publish my book, hoping that I can reduce my hours at work to spend more time doing what I love, wishing that I could set up my own business. I’m not giving people choices anymore. I might be an ageing hippy, but inside me, there’s still a feisty punk. Punk Never Dies! So I’m off to bang on some doors! If I get into trouble for being a nuisance or too demanding, I blame you! Thank you 🙂

Yours sincerely,

Rachel HippyPunk Coverdale

Why We Should All Want Our Little Girls To Grow Up To Be A Princess

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Once upon a time, little girls were told to look pretty and act demure as their purpose in life was to gain “happily every after” by marrying a rich, handsome prince and their only contribution to society was to bring forth fat little heirs.

Well that was then and this is now. Judging by the latest two princesses to join the Royal Family, a princess is a strong, intelligent, independent woman.

I watched in genuine awe as Meghan Markle wore her freckles like a badge of honour. No hiding differences for her. Her freckles are part of her, and in my opinion are part of her attractiveness, but I didn’t get the feeling she was showing them for their beauty. She was showing them because why shouldn’t she?

Meghan is mixed race. She says this sometimes caused difficulty gaining acting roles as she was often too white to play a black person and too black to play a white person. Did she whinge and complain? Stamp her feet and demand? No! She simply persevered, made sure her acting skills were the best and gained roles based on her skill set. She is resilient and will not allow knock-backs to knock her back. She is proud of both her races, just like she’s proud of her freckles. Just like she’s proud of her success.

Let’s just take a moment to look at our Pretty Princess’ personal achievements before she ever even met her Prince Charming:

  • It is now well known that as a small child, she stood up against sexism in an advert which she felt was wrong. There are so many people who complain to each other, or on Facebook, but how many actually do something constructive about it? Meghan did. This shows her proactive nature and strong moral code.

 

  • Meghan Markle has a degree which proves not only a level of intelligence but is also evidence of independent study, resilience and determination.

 

  • She also set up her own business – an online lifestyle magazine which was hugely successful – so she’s an entrepreneur too!

 

  • Meghan Markle is recognised as a philanthropist and has been heavily involved in charity work for many years proving she is compassionate and caring.

 

So to sum up, if you would like your little girl to follow in the latest princess’ footsteps, she’ll need to do a little more than smile sweetly in a pretty dress. She’ll need to be studious, determined, resourceful, independent, kind, moral, generous, entrepreneurial and have many other good, strong, characteristics.

And what about her modern Prince Charming? The fairy-tale prince of days gone by was looking for a young girl who would be grateful for his attention and do anything for him – including wait in a tower for 100 years. Somehow, I don’t think our modern little princesses mentioned above are going to entertain that idea. The modern Prince Charming is someone who gives as he receives. He is the hero who not only irons his own shirts, but irons everything else in the ironing basket too. He cooks and cleans without expecting a grateful “thank you” because he knows he lives there too. He cares for the kids on a sharing rota with his princess. In fact, he has all the qualities, mentioned above for the princess. Mr Charming and Mrs Princess are no longer a helpless damsel and a saviour. They are two halves of a dynamite couple who support each other.

I’m looking forward to the day my daughter meets her Prince Charming – and she’s strong enough to know it’s the modern version she wants to meet 😊