Shh! I’m not really a grown-up!
If Facebook is a gossip magazine, Instagram is an art gallery and Twitter is a business and political convention for grown-ups only. That’s how I see them anyway! This causes me a problem: you see I’m not really a grown-up. Yes, I have been alive for 48 years, but I haven’t actually grown up. Sometimes I’ll be walking along the street and I’ll see my son’s friends with their parents and I’ll think – ooh look, grown-ups. I have never, ever, looked in the mirror and thought – ooh, I’m a grown up. I have the same wrinkles around my eyes and silver streaks in my hair as grown-ups. My middle is spreading which I believe is another sign and has nothing to do with chocolate! But I’m just not a grown-up. I don’t think like one and I don’t act like one. When my son said he was going to have a few beers at his friend’s house to celebrate the end of exams, I launched into an attempt at a grown-up speech warning him of the dangers of excess alcohol and he cut me off saying, “don’t worry mum – I’m not like you!”
I’ve been on Facebook for some time now. I understand how it works, and I enjoy it. But … I’m trying to get my novel published and the advice is to get yourself out there on as many social media platforms as possible. Bear in mind my target market is Middle-Grade and the Middle-Grade students at school informed me that Facebook is “only for old people in their 30s and 40s”!!! So off I trotted to the virtual world of Twitter disguised as a grown-up and started following authors, publishers and literary agents. Very mature. I also followed a few immature comedians but I think some grown-ups do that too and I’m sure nobody will notice anyway! And then I had to tweet something! What could I tweet? My mind went blank which is weird because I don’t normally get writers’ block when I’m writing my stories. I can sit down and let the thoughts pour out of my head, down through my fingers and onto the keyboard. But that’s just it. My stories are for Middle-Graders – not for grown-ups. After a few poor attempts which disappeared into the ether unseen and unheeded by the world’s millions, I decided to retweet important sounding messages from grown-ups and respond on other people’s tweets. It’s working really well. Real authors are replying to me as though I am one of them and all grown-up and stuff!
So guys and gals! I’m just putting it out there – if you tweet me I will definitely respond because I am ridiculously excited about this new persona I have created. Just please don’t “out” me. Rachel Coverdale is a very grown-up girl! 😊